I am just now realizing the level of terror involved in setting out to write a blog about my spiritual growth process, likely one of the most intimate things anyone can write about. I have an instant new-found level of awe and respect for those who have been brave enough to tell their personal stories to the world, those who expose their process so others can learn from them. I have made some past attempts to put ideas out there that have attracted some negative comments and criticism. These reactions have completely stopped my efforts in their tracks, sometimes permanently. But I can no longer allow that voice of fear and self doubt to take the driver’s seat. The need to share my experiences and journey continues to come up for me. So despite the heart pounding terror, I must honor that need and share my journey with you.
I’ve learned so far that my journey, at its core, is about transforming self hate to self love. The road to self love must start with self knowledge. So, I am facing my fears and writing this blog to help me get to know myself better and grow to hold myself in the highest esteem. I hope that this process will help others on their own journey.
I want to start this blog by sharing a letter I wrote to the me that is struggling with self hate.
I know the first 37 years of your life were very hard and painful. You endured more than anyone should have to in a lifetime. But I know that pain was necessary to facilitate expansion and growth, to bring you from a place of fear to one of love.
It took losing yourself through bullying, abusive relationships, rape and dis-empowerment. It took losing a child. Hitting rock bottom in an ER bathroom bleeding all alone. But after dark there is light. Over the last three years you’ve dedicated yourself to spiritual growth and healing. You’ve come a long way and I’m so proud of you. Your pain and loss were not in vain. Seeing how the feeling of inadequacy has cut deep wounds in your life, I’m proud that you have the courage to start this blog and walk this path. This is part of your spiritual process, part of the path to self love. What you have to say has value. Your desire to share your authentic voice with the world deserves to be honored. You deserve happiness and meaning in your life. You deserve purpose, you deserve love. You deserve to treat yourself with care everyday. The commitment that you have made to find happiness is the greatest gesture of respect you have made to yourself thus far. I know you now realize that this lifelong healing journey is the reason that you have come into this world. I am so excited to see what amazing things and people await you on this path.
With all my heart,
This blog will document my journey of personal growth. It will focus primarily on small daily acts of self-love and personal care. My aim is to provide the reader with practical directions on the steps I will take in my life to facilitate deep spiritual and life change. I will share how this process directly impacts all the areas of my life from relationships to work to finances to health.
I have read the works of many self help experts, spiritual teachers, and psychologists over the years. I know from my experience that sometimes when you hear something in the right way at the right time it can create a life changing shift in perspective. So I’ve learned that there is room in this world for all our voices and stories. That though we may share the same messages of universal wisdom as some of our teachers, gurus, and predecessors we share those messages in our own unique way. And that sometimes we will say something in the right way at the right time for someone reading our words and that that will make all the difference.
Thank you for taking the time to read my introduction. I will be posting a new blog every weekend. Next week I will outline the practical approaches and tools I have used and plan to use as I continue on this healing path. I hope some of my words make a difference for you.
Have a beautiful week!